REPLACE IN THIS ENVELOPE IMMEDIATELY AFTER USE

Maybe it's age, maybe it's depression, maybe it's the realisation than real life never measures up to facsimile but, these days, I'd rather listen to a record of Foreign Traffic than actually go out into the world, and hear it for myself. These 45 rpm records are so beautifully utilitarian, but also genuinely beautiful, The blank verse of the titles is literally one of my favourite things and, yes, I do know what 'literally' means.

These records will outlive us all so rejoice that they exist. Without them, how would whoever discovers our bones at the wheels of our rusty cars in weed infested supermarket car parks know what cash registers, atomic power stations and 450 Budgerigars & Canaries in a show (not pictured) once sounded like? The sinister wind will still be audible, no doubt.