WE LOVE YOU, RINGO!

 

Here's wishing a very Happy 86th Birthday to my favourite Beatle, Sir Ringo Starr.

VOLTAIRE ON THE BONGOS

Sex Kittens Go To College is such an awful film, I almost don't want to acknowledge that I watched it. I was, of course, researching the work of director Albert Zugsmith, which ranges from the interesting (Confessions Of  An Opium Eater; Psychedelic Sexualis) to the execrable (everything else). 

The one redeeming feature of this almost incomprehensible comedy is that it has a chimpanzee called Abraham Q. Voltaire who dresses like a beatnik and plays percussion and bongos in a lounge jazz band. Voltaire is a charismatic figure and an excellent musician and, later on, plays the piano with his feet. He's basically a genius, and looks absolutely cool as fuck, especially if those glasses are prescription.

LOW BUDGET INTERIORS (+)

 

I watch a lot of low-budget (and some no budget) films, and I'm mildly fixated on the rooms they use. I particularly like it if some effort (but no expense) has been taken to 'dress' the set. Here's an example, from a 1976 movie A.P.E. It's about a massive ape that goes on the rampage, kidnapping a blonde American actress on route. Totally original story. Very shortly, the big gorilla will look through this window, and we can only speculate as to his thoughts on this particular low budget interior.

The best part of the film comes when the cut rate Kong destroys a helicopter that has been shooting at him. His reaction is something you may be familiar with from that famous mountain gorilla documentary with David Attenborough.

It's gold standard stuff. 

BREAKING NEWS

 

O, CAROLINE 2

 

Art by Robin Greenville-Evans.

That's it in terms of Starcrash. For now...

O, CAROLINE 1

 

More Starcrash. These artfully decaying shots are taken from a pre-production Special Effects reel created by Armando Valcauda. As a six year old coming home from school, I saw Caroline Munro on an advertising hoarding promoting Lambs Navy Rum, and the sight of her gave me tummy ache. When I told my wife this, many years later, she paraphrased Woody Allen in her exasperated response: 'for God's sake, Paul, even Freud speaks of a latency period'.

...A SPACE ADVENTURE FOR ALL TIME

FROM A VAST AND DISTANT GALAXY...

 

Starcrash, d. Luigi Cozzi (1978)

Often described as a shameless Star Wars rip off, Starcrash was actually developed prior to the global success of George Lucas' movie, although, during production, some obvious references to the phenomenon were added to trivial but often amusing effect.

In fact, Cozzi's space opera has more in common with Jason Of The Argonauts cinematically, and is very much indebted to the Italian fumeti tradition. A rip-roaring adventure across time and space, Starcrash has an excellent cast (Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinnell and Christopher Plummer) AND David Hasselhoff.

Full of flashing lights and optical effects (always a favourite), Starcrash is not by any means a great film but it is a supremely entertaining one, made with imagination and brio, low in budget but high in ambition. 

I was in Rome last month, a city my wife and I visit as often as we can. During the trip I was able to get to Profondo Rosso, a small shop in the Parti region of the city. It was set up by the director of Starcrash, Luigi Cozzi, and his pal, Dario Argento. For five Euros, you can visit a small museum in the basement that has props from some of Argento's movies. If you like that sort of thing, it's well worth the investment (I was overjoyed). Later that afternoon, still buzzing with excitement, it belatedly occurred to me that the pleasant man behind the counter was Luigi Cozzi. I don't have many regrets in life, but I wish I'd realised in time to shake his hand and say grazie mille for Starcrash. Hopefully, I'll get to do it next year.

COMING SOON...STARCRASH!

 

BOOM!

The Mad Bomber, d. Bert I. Gordon (1973)

I couldn't resist watching the final explosive sequence of this sleazy exploitation thriller very slowly indeed and, lo and behold, at the climax Chuck Connors is replaced by a decent but obvious dummy that wouldn't have been noticed at normal speed or, indeed, by anyone normal.