IN A HOLE

The Challenge, d. John Frankenheimer (USA, 1982)

I was going to write that The Challenge is under-rated but it's actually unrated, i.e. nobody really cares about it.

Wiry Scott Glenn plays a down on his luck American boxer adrift in Japan who infiltrates a Bushido training school led by the formidable Toshiro Mifune in order to steal a valuable historic sword. He soon realises that the discipline of the dojo is what he needs in his unhappy life and, to show his new found commitment, he is buried up to his neck in the blazing sun and left without food and water for several days. 

Once he starts screaming, he is considered ready to be re-made and re-modelled, just in time for a massive scrap with machine guns and throwing stars and all that in which he acquits himself very well.  

VILLAINS OF WORLD CINEMA

001: Doctor Satan, a fairly obvious wrong 'un.

From The Deathless Devil (1972), a Turkish espionage / superhero mash up with some appalling comic relief, very little continuity and stolen soundtrack music (including liberal use of The Pink Panther theme). 

LIFE GOALS

 

Between 1983 and 1986, Idaho resident Al Fry ran a company called Incredible Inquiries, which produced instructional videos and self-help manuals.

Usually little more than slide-shows with a quite banal narration, they are, nevertheless, fascinating artefacts. Other titles include Hidden Bible Knowledge, Triple Your Intellect and Memory, and Lock Up Dangers & Freedom Techniques. In an incredible act of benevolence, someone calling themselves Mentaltapes has uploaded them all onto Youtube.  Cheers, MT, thank you for your service.

POWER UP

 

Our hero / nemesis enjoys a much needed burst of cosmic energy in the excellent Heisei Era Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla 2 (1993). Spoiler: Mechagodzilla gets his metal arse kicked (eventually).

JAPANESE CINEMA 101

 

From Terrifying Girls Highschool: Lynch Law Classroom (1973)

WHEN WAX NO LONGER WORKS

Ever wondered where old wax figures go once they fall out of favour? Well, in the case of the wonderful / appalling Louis Tussauds in Great Yarmouth (which I think of constantly, always with an ache), they were bought by some Arabian potentate and shipped out to somewhere very hot (presumably they are kept in climate controlled conditions). With Madam Tussauds, for decades those figures that became surplus to requirements went to the Wookey Hole in Somerset, where they became a tourist attraction in their own right.

This postcard gives us plenty to digest: a bust of Nelson, some of Diana Dors, Henry VIII's and Bobby Moore's bodies and, in the background, a panoply of one-time household names and legends, including Hal and Bobby's heads, Tony Hancock, Nobby Stiles, Peter Ustinov, Shirley MacLaine and dear old Queen Matilda. 

MOORE, MOORE, MOORE

 

By 1974, Henry Moore was popular enough to warrant a wax figure in Madam Tussauds, not a bad accolade for a contemporary sculptor whose best work was innovative and experimental. Tussauds resisted the opportunity to do something abstract with his figure, and instead fashioned a fairly good likeness of the 76 year old Yorkshireman, although it did have the somewhat rough-hewn, pock-marked look that wax figures often had at the time. When finished, his nattily dressed likeness stood alongside Picasso. 

Wax figures are a great interest of mine, particularly because they tell you a lot about the interests and priorities of the society which produces them. They are always ephemeral: they come and then go, usually for good. As such, I don't know whether Moore's figure was still on display when the real man died in 1986, but I suspect not, David Hockney had almost certainly crept in by then.

WADE IN THE WATER

 

'The Face Of Another' (1966) is a rather grim Japanese sci fi psychodrama about disfigurement, loss of identity and revenge. Towards the end of the film, a hitherto marginal character walks slowly into the sea. As someone who almost drowned as a child, I know it isn't exactly an easeful death, but it has elements of poetry, as demonstrated in this beautiful sequence.        

SLOW VIOLENCE

It takes a long time and a lot of title cards before we get to any Navy Seal Combat Hand To Hand Training Fundamentals on this 1994 VHS tape and, when we finally arrive, it's quite boring, just a bloke moving his arms around. Please don't tell Mr. Frank Cucci I said that, he'll probably beat me up in a dull but very thorough way.

WE LOVE YOU, RINGO!

 

Here's wishing a very Happy 86th Birthday to my favourite Beatle, Sir Ringo Starr.