How disputes should be settled: in a well-appointed room, with comfortable leather chairs, plenty of plants and a deep pile rug. Both parties seem intractable at the beginning, but may well move towards consensus in this quiet and neutral environment. If they don't emerge as the best of pals in an hour, simply chuck a couple of medieval weapons into the room and firmly shut the door.
The Touchables (1968) is a lovely idea, but it runs out of steam very quickly. The visuals remain great throughout, however, with this sequence featuring dancer / model / actress Esther Anderson a particular pop art delight / highlight.
The multi-talented Anderson was originally from Jamaica, and played a pivotal and somewhat unsung role in popularising reggae in the UK, including helping to develop Island Records. She later became a photographer and film maker, and remains a very interesting person.
Patty Hearst, d. Paul Schrader (1988)
'Marie Antoinette didn't know anything about the French Revolution until they cut off her head'.
On February 4th, 1974, 19 year old heiress Patty Hearst was kidnapped by a terrorist group called the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA). The original plan was for the SLA to exchange her for some imprisoned comrades, but this didn't happen, and the group refused all offers of ransom money from her parents.
After two months of imprisonment, sensory deprivation, indoctrination, intimidation and rape, Patty was given the choice to 'join or die' so, on April 15th, she helped the SLA rob a bank whilst wielding a machine gun.
Hearst was finally returned to her family in September 1975, 17 months after being taken prisoner. The following year, she was sentenced to seven years in prison for bank robbery and using a firearm during the commissioning of a felony. Brainwashing was not used as a defence, as it had no precedent in law. The sentencing Judge stated: 'rebellious young people who, for whatever reason become revolutionaries, and voluntarily commit criminal acts will be punished'. Motherfuckers*.
Paul Schrader's fast moving film is unambiguous about the ordeal that the previously sheltered and naive Hearst goes through, and Natasha Richardson plays Patty as permanently scared, off-balance and confused (her IQ dropped by about 30 points during her captivity, and her health was seriously affected). Crammed into a small apartment, the SLA spend their time doing calisthenics, posing with guns and sleeping with each other. Worst of all, THEY WILL NOT STOP TALKING, not even for a moment - endlessly and monotonously droning on about race, about class, about power, about violence, about sex, about money, about offing pigs- the whole scene is claustrophobic, suffocating, stultifying, deafening - it makes your brain itch. After half an hour I was ready to shoot someone.
*Hearst was released after two years at the behest of President Carter, and later pardoned.
'Sit quietly, and let your breath go smooth...'
South African Yogi Alan Finger demonstrates a visualisation exercise by which thinking about colours charges the energy centres in your body, leading to better balanced chakras. Or something like that, I got caught up in the visuals.
Alan is still alive, pushing 80, and he looks great, so there must be something in it.
From Yoga Moves with Alan Finger (1983)
Do not over exert they say, as the dynamic, gyrating figures on the screen make impossible shapes at a pace so rapid that it warps the variables of light and colour, space and time. Tantric and Kriya Yoga Master Alan Finger has a lot to answer for. I will be calling him to account.
Suggested calisthenic routine from The Rheumatism School booklet. Come on, get to it.
The Rheumatism School is a 45 record that pairs pleasant, upbeat music with the soothing and persuasive voice of Renate Braasch. I don't speak German but, judging by the title and the accompanying booklet, it seems to be encouraging listeners to do some exercise, or gymnastikübungen.
I'm not a Doctor, but I certainly wouldn't recommend the sort of activity pictured on the cover for anyone with muscular-skeletal issues, but then the record was produced by big pharma company Nordmark, premier producers of painkillers.
I don't know why, but I'm obsessed with this publicity photograph of Dirk Bogarde and a parrot. My wife says there's something wrong with me, and I can hardly disagree. What I like to do is to put it up in different places in the house and see how long it takes her to discover it. It's a form of psychological warfare, really, and I feel bad about it, I really do, but I won't stop because I can't.
What do I like about it? First and foremost, it's the forced, fake nature of the thing. Secondly, because I know that Dirk was waspish and acerbic in real life, I'm sure he hated every second. Third - I'll bet the parrot disliked it too and, in a best case fantasy scenario, told Bogarde to 'fuck off out of it' after a few snaps of the camera.
I have been working on a Dirk Bogarde impersonation for a while, and, after an enormous amount of work, have finally managed to sound simultaneously posh and tremulous and sardonic and tired and angry and arch whilst reciting a couple of key lines. The house is dropping to bits, my hair is falling out, the world is on fire but, on the plus side, I'll be able to do a passable rendition of this dead British actor by 2027.
I've always had a keen interest in the mechanics of popular music, and, as I've grown older, this has led to short, intense obsessions with certain songs and artists, what my friend Ian calls 'rabbit holes' - things you disappear into, occasionally ill-advisedly. Where appropriate, I'll share some of my findings here. Naturally, I find what follows fascinating - other viewpoints may apply.
Amoureuse is a song that was written in 1972 by French singer-songwriter Veronique Sanson. Sanson was inspired by staying out late with her boyfriend. As she drove home early in the morning (she still lived with her parents) she realised that she was, for the first time, in love, with all the excitement and uncertainty that brings (amoureuse is a feminine noun meaning 'a woman in love'). It's a great song, and Veronique's version of the song is sung well, but is, in my opinion, a little matter-of-fact - the backing is quite flat and doesn't build anywhere near enough tension as it moves to the chorus.
In America, songwriter Patti Dahlstrom was asked by Warner Brothers to rewrite the original for an American audience. She dispensed with the original lyrics, and instead simply wrote down what came into her head as she listened, concocting a scenario about a woman in a tenuous and frustrating relationship who, nevertheless, is unable to break away because of the passion of the affair. Retitled 'Emotion' (which perhaps sums up the less nuanced nature of the lyric), it was a US hit in 1974 for the engaging and hugely successful American based Australian singer Helen Reddy.
This take is poppy, slightly lightweight, occasionally verging on being a country ballad. It has its charms ('then you stumble in - and I am tumbling back to where it begins' is the highlight, I think), but it lacks the depth of the Osborne version or, indeed, the original.
Sanson has said that Reddy's perky take was her favourite version of the song, but it could be that a. it is different enough from the original to be admired with detachment and / or b. it made her the most money - as with the song itself, either interpretation works.
.png)
