SUN, WATER AND PHALLUS

Virgin Report, d. Jesus Franco (1972)

MOMENTS FROM THE 'HOLY MOUNTAIN'

002: Jesus Warehouse

REMOTE IS BEST

The Selk'nam people lived in the Patagonian region of Argentina and Chile, and are particularly associated with the archipeligo of Tierra del Fuego. The Selk'nam were nomadic hunters who had a complex series of beliefs, which included at least two major Gods, ancestor worship and an obsession with a host of 'spirits', some representations of which are captured above.   

The Selk'nam were isolated enough to not encounter any European people until the latter part of the 19th century, at which point they were systematically wiped out by disease and murder. Some were even sent to zoos. Where they died.

In 1896, there were 3,000 Selk'nam; by 1919, there were barely 300; in 1945, there were just 25. By 1974, there were none left at all. 

It's worth considering, as I have, just what it is about the Western way of life that makes it so very fucking important that we can travel the world raping, killing and pillaging with absolute impunity. If you have an answer, please do let me know. 

TWO TRIANGLES

BRIGHT ANTENNAE

In 1980, popular clodhoppers Legs and Co appeared on Top Of The Pops with their terpsichorean interpretation of the Rush single The Spirit of Radio. The results were mixed: part Leni Riefenstahl, part excruciating mime, part gurning competition. The overall effect, however, is a sensory overload that is perhaps the most mind bendingly halluconegenic sequence shown on UK television that year. Here is but some of the evidence.  

BLOND GORILLA

Meet Dr. Gori, an ape scientist  kicked off his own planet for being a power crazed maniac. This mad monkey is fond of expansive gestures and symbolic hand shapes, and his rubber face barely moves (his lips never do). He reminds me a little of the late Brian Jones. Looking for somewhere to conquer, he chances upon Earth and decides to use its own pollution against it, creating all manner of toxic waste monsters, garbage goblins and, I kid you not, a Titanic Monster Dustman. Who will stop him and his simian henchmen? Spectreman, that's who, a super-advanced flying cyborg sent from beyond the stars.

Continuing the the early 70s Japanese 'we're destroying the planet and it's freaking us out, but not enough to stop destroying the planet' theme from the last post, this episode is called 'Save The Beautiful Earth'. The screenshots are terrible, but then they are taken from an ex-rental VHS tape I plucked out of a wire discount bin about 25 years ago. 

The Spectreman show ran to 32 episodes, many of which are available in their entirety on the web. I'm not recommending you watch them, by the way, just saying that they are there.

GODZILLA, ECO WARRIOR

Godzilla Vs. Hedorah, d. Yoshimitsu Banno (1971)

Hedorah is a monster made when some alien ectoplasm feeds on the filthy pollution created by the plants and factories of industrial Japan. Hedorah secretes burning poison, blows out choking gas and covers its victims in radioactive sludge. It's touch is deadly, it's very presence threatens the world, and we have only ourselves to blame. 

Hedorah is notable for its one red eye, which stares back at mankind in disgust, like a smoking beagle or a rabbit having shampoo squirted in its face. That eye, that single eye: damaged, bloodshot, angry, defiant, accusatory. We can't stand that eye, as we know that we created it. We know that it looks right through us. Godzilla will eventually destroy Hedorah, of course, closing that offending eye for good in a maelstrom of electricity and death and tearing apart.  

Before Godzilla lumbers back home, however, he will turn and stare down at the humans who have cooked up this catastrophe, the same humans whose meddling with the atom made him. His look of withering contempt is a judgement on us all. 

MOMENTS FROM 'THE HOLY MOUNTAIN'

001: Chimpanzee Guru

Alejandro Jodorowsky's 'The Holy Mountain' may be the greatest avant garde feature film ever made. At the very least, it is a beautiful, savage, mind warping work full of incredible energy and astonishing imagery, so much so that this series will more than likely outlive me.

THEY'LL LOVE THE VERY LIFE OUT OF YOU

Invasion Of The Bee Girls, d. Denis Sanders (1973)

For a long while, Invasion Of The Bee Girls requires a great deal of perseverance. A patchy story about a series of unexplained deaths in a small town with a large biological research centre, the key point of interest is that the victims are exclusively men, specifically middle aged scientists, most of whom have some form of ingenious and elaborate comb across. Their sudden demise is attributed to being (using the 70s vernacular) 'balled' to death. Are their murders linked to the top secret work they are doing? And isn't the town (brilliantly, called Peckham) notorious for being a swinger's paradise? And why do all the women in town wear such big sunglasses?* 

After an hour, however, there is an extraordinary sequence in which a group of very short white coated women perform a strange procedure on a naked, half conscious lady stood in front of a Buckminster Fuller-style geodesic dome made of electrical cable. They bombard her with radiation, smear her in latex, then lock her away in a compartment filled with bees, which cover her entirely. After this, they peel off the plastic and flash her with a heat ray. The soft light and warmth of the light unlocks something sensual within her - and does the same for the other women in the lab - and there is much wistful self-fondling. One lesbian kiss later and the subject's eyes turn completely black. She is now a bee girl. Her mission: to fuck an ugly old scientist to death. The reason: less clear cut, but it has to do with chauvinistic and irresponsible experiments causing female sterility or something. 

When the film was released on video in the UK it was re-titled Graveyard Tramps, which only makes me think of cider and public urination.

* The credits read 'Bee Come Beautiful Sunglasses by Foster Grant'.

KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN

Kleenex were a punk band formed in Zurich in 1978. Under threat of legal action from the tissue company, they changed their name to Liliput, and were promptly sued by the vengeful spirit of Jonathan Swift.